im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
