Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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