hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
