about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
