Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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