Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
