Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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