I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
