So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
