You're my little dorito
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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