its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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