Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
