Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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