why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
