You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
