I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
