On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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