You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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