the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
