When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize