peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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