oh god the rape fog is back!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
