It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
