Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
