i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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