It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
