Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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