and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
