Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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