Grow some girl-balls and come out already
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
