In the future we'll all be gay
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
