Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize