how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
