Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
