She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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