Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
