I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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