omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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