Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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