He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
