3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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