But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
