If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
