apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
