didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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