a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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