I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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