Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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