Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
