I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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