The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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