i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
