great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize