Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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