Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The air was thick with penises
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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