eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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