well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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