I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She announced her abortion via fbk
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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