Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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