I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
