instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
