Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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