I hate your face
nut hugger
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
